Swedish wedding traditions: what to expect
Some obvious, some surprising. What usually happens at a wedding in Sweden, whether you are the couple or a guest.
Whether you are planning a wedding in Sweden or invited to one, it helps to know what usually happens. Swedish weddings have their own traditions, some obvious and some surprising. Here are the most important ones.
The atmosphere
Swedish weddings are generally relaxed and focused on having a good time. There are rarely strict ceremony rules or formal protocol. What drives the day is togetherness, food and, often, a well-organised list of speeches.
Dress code
Most Swedish couples state a dress code on the invitation. Tailcoats and evening gowns do happen, but a suit and a cocktail dress are more common. If you are a guest and you are not sure, ask. It is better than turning up in the wrong outfit.
Wedding gifts
In Sweden guests usually give a present rather than cash in an envelope, unless the couple has asked for a contribution, for example towards a honeymoon or a shared experience. Gift registers exist but are not as established as in many other countries. If the couple has a wish, it is often written on the invitation.
The morning gift
One of the lesser-known traditions outside Sweden. The morning gift (morgongåva) is a present from one partner to the other on the morning after the wedding. Traditionally the groom gave his wife a gift, but today it is common for both to give each other something: often jewellery, an accessory or an experience.
Walking in together
In Sweden the couple often walk in together, rather than a father walking his daughter down the aisle. It is an equal and symbolic choice. But you do exactly as you like, and there are many ways to plan an entrance.
The kiss, and the clapping
One of the more entertaining traditions: if the groom leaves the room, every man in the room is allowed to kiss the bride (on the cheek). If the bride leaves, the women may kiss the groom. It is signalled by stamping feet, tapping glasses or clapping hands.
Speeches
A lot of them. Speeches throughout the dinner, sometimes one for every course. Guests usually stay seated at their tables during dinner to listen, so the speeches become the rhythm of the evening. If you are not used to this, embrace it. Swedish wedding speeches are often moving and funny, and they give the evening a rhythm and a character that is hard to replace.
The speeches are usually managed by one or two toastmasters (toastmaster or toastmadam), sometimes called a toast couple. They introduce the speakers, keep the evening moving and make sure the whole programme works. Most couples choose their toastmasters early in the planning.
Two tips if you are the couple:
Make a timeline. Speeches take longer than you expect, and the kitchen, the toastmasters and the music all need to know the plan. Read how to build a wedding day timeline.
Let a coordinator help. A coordinator can support the toastmasters before and during the dinner, and keep in touch with the kitchen so the courses and the speeches fit together. It makes a big difference to how the dinner feels.
Snaps songs
At dinner it is common to sing snaps songs (snapsvisor), short songs sung before the snaps is drunk. There are usually song sheets on the tables, or the words are shown on a screen. You do not need to know them in advance. It is something you learn in the moment.
Drinks: with the dinner, and an open bar afterwards
In Sweden, wine, beer or other drinks to go with the food are usually served during the dinner, and the open bar starts afterwards. Drinks are part of the meal, not something guests help themselves to all evening.
This is quite different from many American weddings, and from many Middle Eastern weddings too, and worth keeping in mind if you or your guests are used to that. Most Swedish venues offer a full beverage package per person, and some find it difficult to offer an open bar with free choice throughout the whole evening. If that is what you want, ask the venue early.
Seating
In Sweden, couples are traditionally seated apart from each other at dinner, which sometimes puzzles international guests. The idea is that you spend all your time together already, and the wedding is a chance to spend time with everyone you love. How you handle it is of course up to you.
Games: the shoe game and others
Games are popular at Swedish weddings. The shoe game is one of the best known: the couple sit back to back, each holding a shoe, and answer questions about their relationship. It is always entertaining, and usually gets a laugh or two.
The most important thing
Come as a guest with an open mind and let yourself have fun. Swedish weddings are warm and inclusive, and the best thing you can do as a guest is to be present.
But be prepared to sit for a few hours…
Planning a wedding in Sweden and want help with everything from traditions to logistics? We match you with the right coordinator, free of charge. Find your coordinator.
Long speeches, a toastmaster, wine with dinner and an open bar afterwards. What to expect at a Swedish wedding, as a couple or a guest.